Revolt looms after anti-UT Parking self-immolation

In a move designed to spark unrest in the student population, undergraduate Martin Hewitt committed suicide by self-immolation yesterday in the staff parking lot by the Andy Holt garage.

Police say the incident occurred hours after Hewitt’s car was towed for the twenty-third time.  According to sources, Martin became infuriated to find his car towed yet again and vowed to make a statement.

“He just kept saying ‘They’ve targeted me for the last time, man, the last time,’” reported Hewitt’s close friend, Bob Dodson. “Then he ran off to the library. Next thing I know he’s on fire in the parking lot.”

Once in the library, Hewitt apparently recorded a video of himself and posted it online. The footage, available on Hewitt’s long-running blog, consists of Hewitt shouting a long list of grievances against UT Parking and Transit Services, including “giving more than one ticket while I’m parked in the same fucking spot,” “charging a shit ton for a parking pass,” and “those fucking yellow curbs.”

The self-immolation was not the first anti-UT Parking and Transit Services activism staged by Hewitt, who fellow students claim has “definitely got a reputation as an activist.”

“We all live under UT Parking and Transit Services’ Thumb, you know?” said a self-professed admirer of Hewitt’s, who asked not to be identified. “But none of us were willing to do anything about it. Martin was the only one with the guts to fight the man, to try to take him down.”

Hewitt was known for posting long, angry rants in popular anti-UT Parking and Transit Services chatrooms. “UT Parking and Transit Services r drunk w/ power & grinding us under they’re [sic] boots…if we don’t have the right 2 park in a handicap zone what rights do we have left,” ran one such post.

“Eloquent, man,” responded a member of the forum. “Beautiful. You should send it to the Beacon.”

Hewitt’s suicide has magnified the discontented rumblings of the University’s driving population. Anti-UT Parking and Transit Services graffiti covers most of campus, and a peaceful anti-UT Parking and Transit Services riot turned violent yesterday evening.

These student activists and conspirators hail Hewitt as a martyr.

“Not just anyone would have done what he did,” said Jennifer Draper, eyes glowing with disturbing intensity. “He suffered to fight the oppressors. Now it’s time for them to suffer, whether they want to or not.”

When pressed for comment, UT Parking and Transit Services officers insist that the campus region is stable and that violent police response will be kept to a minimum.

–All writing and reporting by Julius Seizure

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Posted by on Apr 20 2011. Filed under ALL THINGS AARON CARTER, Knoxville News, News, READ THESE OR YOUR CHILDREN MIGHT DIE. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.

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