Obama signs into law world’s largest homo club

Finally making good on promises made during his 2008 presidential campaign, President Barack Obama signed into law the world’s largest homosexual enthusiast club Wednesday morning. The organization will offer a safe and comfortable place for the nation’s homosexuals to plan social events and meet others, and will also be charged with the ensuring the international security of the United States.

“I’m just so super duper excited to see all the new possibilities for the military!” said career Army serviceman Stan Little. Little, according to reports from his wife Lucy, mysteriously transformed overnight from the brawny troglodyte she’d been married to for 37 years into an effeminate pansy unable to tear himself away from Lifetime’s Sex in the City marathons.

“It was like magic,” said Lucy Little. “Around 9 a.m. Wednesday morning, he locked himself in the bathroom to figure out a new way to style his hair. Then he made me a zucchini and mint frittata for brunch and asked if I needed anything from the mall. I think it has something to do with that club he’s been working for since 1968.”

Under Barack HUSSEIN Obama’s new plan, the “Happy Fun Time Hoo-Hah/Ding-Dong Fan Club” will be divided into five sub-units, to be known as the Army, Navy, Air Force, Coast Guard, and Marine Corps. While all of these units will be designed to cater to their respective alternative lifestyle constituents in similar ways, their roles in protecting America from foreign enemies will differ slightly. The units will, however, work together, combining their resources to ensure the swift and reliable protection of the United States in addition to the bitchinest homoerotic party scene ever known to a world military power.

“Some people may misunderstand my intent in signing this bill,” said president Obama in a speech given minutes after signing the “Military Homofication Act” into law. “This is not about treating all US citizens equally under the law. This is about sacrificing all of our nation’s security in order to not only condone but actively encourage lifestyles antithetical to the traditional family values on which our nation was founded. Death to America.”

–All writing and reporting by Softcoremac McCarthy

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Posted by on Dec 22 2010. Filed under News, U.S. News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.

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