Student-athletes’ academic transcripts lost in flood of $100 bills »

volmoney

Athletic director Dave Hart announced yesterday that the athletic department has lost all their student-athletes’ academic transcripts in a flood of crisp, fresh-minted hundred-dollar bills. According to Hart, the documents were destroyed when the department’s heaping stacks of cash burst through their retaining walls and rushed into adjacent rooms where the academic reports were being [...]…

Sep 15 2011 / No Comment / Read More »
CRITICALLY URGENT NEWS

Military to use earth-friendly energy in devastating Somalia »

ecofriendly

The United States military announced today its plan to convert its drones to solar power, to more eco-soundly reduce Somalia’s land and population to so much ash and rubble. “The current drone models rely on fossil fuels, which spew gallons of smoke into the atmosphere,” said an official at the briefing, showing a video clip [...]…

Sep 20 2011 / No Comment / Read More »
READ THESE OR YOUR CHILDREN MIGHT DIE

Professor extinguishes class excitement in record 86 seconds

Professor extinguishes class excitement in record 86 seconds

Already a distinguished lot, UT’s faculty can now boast yet another international recognition: English professor Jeremy McClain has broken the Guinness World Record time for completely eliminating a…

Aug 17 2011 / Read More »

Totally lame zombies just want to talk about the environment

Totally lame zombies just want to talk about the environment

When marauding hoards of the undead descended upon Market Square Friday, shoppers and diners ran screaming for their lives before sheepishly realizing this particular gang of reanimated corpses…

Aug 5 2011 / Read More »

Fraternity feud sparks beautifully choreographed altercation

Fraternity feud sparks beautifully choreographed altercation

The long-standing turf war between Pi Kappa Alpha and Alpha Tau Omega came to a head Thursday afternoon when members of both fraternities burst into an all-out dance-off.…

Apr 28 2011 / Read More »
ALL THINGS AARON CARTER

Rep. John Fleming corrects statement, only has “like $300,000 left a year”

flemingidiot

Congressman John Fleming of Louisiana released a statement today correcting his previous comment on an interview on MSNBC, saying instead of having “maybe $400,000” left per year after…

Sep 23 2011 / Read More »

Harry Potter enthusiast just about to ruin this movie

Harry Potter enthusiast just about to ruin this movie

As the 12:01 showing of “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 2” continues, those seated near University of Tennessee sophomore and avid Harry Potter fanboy Brian Hall…

Jul 15 2011 / Read More »

The Walnut’s Top Seven Healthy Study Snacks

The Walnut’s Top Seven Healthy Study Snacks

If you’re a UT student, it’s crucial to remember to keep your study energy up with some of Hodges Library’s nutritious food choices. This list will help you…

May 4 2011 / Read More »

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